The following post is written by someone who had an experience under the influence of an illicit substance. A substance that is illegal in many countries that view this website. We at The Mind At Large do not condone drug use, nor do we promote it. This is for entertainment and educational purposes only and we do not in any way shape or form promote any sort of illegal activity :)
An ex-anxiety sufferer writes...
Anxiety sucks. Plain and simple. So many things in life I have avoided, due to the pure terror which this disorder invokes within the mind and body. At times, it can feel like I'm constantly walking along a tightrope. Forever having to keep my balance, between stability and a mental meltdown, otherwise known as a panic attack.
Like many, I fell into the trap of abusing alcohol and stimulant drugs such as amphetamine or MDMA. Sort of as a way of regulating my anxiety. A method of giving me a few hours of intoxicated bliss, were I am anxiety free. It definitely feels like it helps, but the truth is, it just makes it worse.
During this time of excessive drug abuse, depression and crippling anxiety, I decided to dose myself with LSD. The truth is, I just wanted to get twisted on drugs. However, I ended up getting much more than I bargained for, in a terrifying but enlightening journey through my psyche.
300ug of this mind-bending chemical absorbed into my tongue, and within thirty minutes, I knew I was in for a rough ride. Thoughts began slowing down and becoming more and more disorganized, as the room twisted and turned into a liquidy psychedelic mess. Instant anxiety overcame me in boundless surges of energy running through my body, as I began having the textbook 'bad trip.' Looped thinking, negative thoughts and panic attacks, which genuinely had me in tears and wanting to die.
I began pacing back and forth my skin literally burning from the severe anxiety. I couldn't figure out which part of my body was which. I tried clambering over the sofa to try and look out of my window, just to make sure I wouldn't be trapped in these four walls for eternity. This proved difficult. Whenever I tried to climb over my sofa, my arms turned into legs and my legs turned into arms. This may sound hilarious, but honestly it was horrifying.
Hours passed, which felt like years and the world I was living in made no sense to me anymore. I decided to hide under my blanket, the only place that made any sense in this new crazy dimension. The rooms felt as if it was sucking into me, and I genuinely thought I was in hell. Rotting corpses melted around me as my body decomposed and deathly screams echoed throughout the room. The world outside the blanket was to confusing and terrifying, so I hid under it like a defenseless little child.
In the darkness is where the introspection took place. I began thinking rationally about why I am having these negative feelings. I had a breakthrough and realized that I am only feeling this way, because I am allowing myself to. More pondering took place and I began to realize that all my anxiety is caused by is a single thought. One single negative thought which ripples into more and invokes a bodily response that makes you feel in danger. With that, I truly began understanding my anxiety disorder and decided to face it.
To be honest, it took a lot of tries to come out from under the blanket, without hiding back under it due to the horror of the outside world. However, after a few tries I made it. I got out from the blanket, sat there and just focused on my breathing. All negative thoughts exited my mind and the bad trip ended. It felt so good. I felt like I had overcome the impossible and managed to keep my mind together to tell the tale.
On the comedown, I began contemplating my life. All the mistakes I've made, and all the people I've wronged came back to haunt me. I allowed myself forgiveness and decided to change my life. My growing stash of addictive stimulant drugs sat there in my cupboard. I don't want to do this anymore I thought. It's not working. I threw them away and the rest of the day felt peaceful. It honestly feels, as if I've been given another chance at life.
Yes. I still do get anxiety at times. However, I understand it a lot more and utilize what I learnt in the trip to deal with it, rather than abusing hard drugs. I've learnt to live in the moment and not let thoughts rule my life. As it stands LSD was probably one of the most healing experiences I have ever been exposed to.
No. I'm not suggesting everyone with a mental disorder goes out and buys some acid. Neither am I suggesting this substance should be available in your local pharmacy. The repercussions of allowing anyone access to such a powerful substance could be catastrophic. However, I think we need to look past what we've been brought to believe about psychedelic drugs.
See through all the trippy colors, and consider that these drugs can be used as powerful tools for self development and mental suffering. In the right setting, with professional guidance, I feel these substances could be revolutionary in all aspects of mental health, if we throw away the stigma, and see them for what they are.
If you have ever benefited from psychedelics, or believe in the cause, I suggest you support MAPS. This is one of the few companies paving the way for the research of using psychedelics in therapy. The more people that support causes like these, the more likely we are to bypass silly and arrogant government regulations, and give people new, and potentially powerful methods of dealing with mental illness.
If you suffer from anxiety or panic attacks and need help (without drugs). Check out this free audio app here.
An ex-anxiety sufferer writes...
Anxiety sucks. Plain and simple. So many things in life I have avoided, due to the pure terror which this disorder invokes within the mind and body. At times, it can feel like I'm constantly walking along a tightrope. Forever having to keep my balance, between stability and a mental meltdown, otherwise known as a panic attack.
Like many, I fell into the trap of abusing alcohol and stimulant drugs such as amphetamine or MDMA. Sort of as a way of regulating my anxiety. A method of giving me a few hours of intoxicated bliss, were I am anxiety free. It definitely feels like it helps, but the truth is, it just makes it worse.
During this time of excessive drug abuse, depression and crippling anxiety, I decided to dose myself with LSD. The truth is, I just wanted to get twisted on drugs. However, I ended up getting much more than I bargained for, in a terrifying but enlightening journey through my psyche.
300ug of this mind-bending chemical absorbed into my tongue, and within thirty minutes, I knew I was in for a rough ride. Thoughts began slowing down and becoming more and more disorganized, as the room twisted and turned into a liquidy psychedelic mess. Instant anxiety overcame me in boundless surges of energy running through my body, as I began having the textbook 'bad trip.' Looped thinking, negative thoughts and panic attacks, which genuinely had me in tears and wanting to die.
I began pacing back and forth my skin literally burning from the severe anxiety. I couldn't figure out which part of my body was which. I tried clambering over the sofa to try and look out of my window, just to make sure I wouldn't be trapped in these four walls for eternity. This proved difficult. Whenever I tried to climb over my sofa, my arms turned into legs and my legs turned into arms. This may sound hilarious, but honestly it was horrifying.Hours passed, which felt like years and the world I was living in made no sense to me anymore. I decided to hide under my blanket, the only place that made any sense in this new crazy dimension. The rooms felt as if it was sucking into me, and I genuinely thought I was in hell. Rotting corpses melted around me as my body decomposed and deathly screams echoed throughout the room. The world outside the blanket was to confusing and terrifying, so I hid under it like a defenseless little child.
In the darkness is where the introspection took place. I began thinking rationally about why I am having these negative feelings. I had a breakthrough and realized that I am only feeling this way, because I am allowing myself to. More pondering took place and I began to realize that all my anxiety is caused by is a single thought. One single negative thought which ripples into more and invokes a bodily response that makes you feel in danger. With that, I truly began understanding my anxiety disorder and decided to face it.
To be honest, it took a lot of tries to come out from under the blanket, without hiding back under it due to the horror of the outside world. However, after a few tries I made it. I got out from the blanket, sat there and just focused on my breathing. All negative thoughts exited my mind and the bad trip ended. It felt so good. I felt like I had overcome the impossible and managed to keep my mind together to tell the tale.
On the comedown, I began contemplating my life. All the mistakes I've made, and all the people I've wronged came back to haunt me. I allowed myself forgiveness and decided to change my life. My growing stash of addictive stimulant drugs sat there in my cupboard. I don't want to do this anymore I thought. It's not working. I threw them away and the rest of the day felt peaceful. It honestly feels, as if I've been given another chance at life.
Yes. I still do get anxiety at times. However, I understand it a lot more and utilize what I learnt in the trip to deal with it, rather than abusing hard drugs. I've learnt to live in the moment and not let thoughts rule my life. As it stands LSD was probably one of the most healing experiences I have ever been exposed to.
No. I'm not suggesting everyone with a mental disorder goes out and buys some acid. Neither am I suggesting this substance should be available in your local pharmacy. The repercussions of allowing anyone access to such a powerful substance could be catastrophic. However, I think we need to look past what we've been brought to believe about psychedelic drugs.See through all the trippy colors, and consider that these drugs can be used as powerful tools for self development and mental suffering. In the right setting, with professional guidance, I feel these substances could be revolutionary in all aspects of mental health, if we throw away the stigma, and see them for what they are.
If you have ever benefited from psychedelics, or believe in the cause, I suggest you support MAPS. This is one of the few companies paving the way for the research of using psychedelics in therapy. The more people that support causes like these, the more likely we are to bypass silly and arrogant government regulations, and give people new, and potentially powerful methods of dealing with mental illness.
If you suffer from anxiety or panic attacks and need help (without drugs). Check out this free audio app here.
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